Christmas trees. Santa Claus. Presents. Parties. Cars with red noses and antlers. There are so many things to smile about at Christmas time. And then there’s Christmas crackers. Those ridiculous exploding table decorations that house possibly the worst collection of lame jokes in history.
This year, I’ve decided to stop torturing my Christmas dinner guests with nauseatingly unfunny Christmas crackers – for once, my excruciatingly stodgy Christmas pudding should prove torture enough. No, this year my daughter and I are throwing caution and common sense to the wind by making our own Christmas crackers. And in the time-honoured advertising tradition, we’ve decided if you can’t be funny, be interesting. So instead of jokes, we’re putting fascinating snippets of Christmas trivia inside our crackers instead.
Here’s just some of the intriguing little tidbits we’ve unearthed, starting – naturally – with some Christmas advertising trivia…
Did you know that the ad industry was instrumental in shaping our modern image of Santa Claus? He was a skinny, rather taciturn-looking character before illustrator Haddon Sundblom created the plump, cheery Santa with the rosy cheeks, white beard and red coat for a series of Coca-Cola magazine ads in 1931.
Or that the world’s first singing commercial aired on the radio on Christmas Eve 1926? The jingle, for Wheaties cereal, was sung by four male singers, who became known as the Wheaties Quartet.
Or that all Christmas advertising was banned in Australia in 1942 to aid the war effort? It was part of a Federal Government initiative to curb extra spending at Christmas and to prevent wasting manpower on the manufacture and selling of Christmas gifts.
Now, for the stats fans…
Scientists have calculated that Santa would have to visit 822 homes a second and travel at 650 miles a second to deliver all the world’s presents on Christmas Eve.
In the USA, six million rolls – or 369,000km – of sticky tape are sold in the run-up to Christmas Day.
According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 dogs get Christmas gifts from their owners.
And finally, a couple for the history buffs…
The British Holy Days and Fasting Days Act of 1551 have not yet been repealed, and it states that every British citizen must attend a Christian church service on Christmas Day, and must not use any kind of vehicle to get there.
The Christmas carol, ‘Silent Night’ was written in 1818 by an Austrian priest called Joseph Mohr, after he was told that the church organ was broken and would not be repaired in time for Christmas Eve. Unable to imagine Christmas without music, he spent the day writing a carol that could be sung to guitar music, and that night his congregation sang “Stille Nacht” for the first time.
Hope these have given you a few conversation-starters in case you get stuck next to Aunty Joan at Christmas dinner. And if you have any more interesting snippets of Christmas trivia, please send them my way.
Deb Enright is a Writer at BCM
Did you know a song can only be a Christmas carol if it has religious meaning? So all those Carols by candle lights with Kamahl and Ray Martin and that lady Rhonda Birchmore … all the jingle belling and Rudolphing … all the Santa Claus is coming to towning etc …. have been inaccurate and, quite frankly, misleading.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Whoa! Next thing you’ll be telling me there’s no such thing as Santa!
This is all very interesting Deb, but really – no Christmas cracker jokes?!
I heard recently the reason the jokes in bonbons are so lame is to avoid a divide of intellect at the dinner table, and to instead allow guests to share in their grumbling.
No matter how bad we say they are, I think we all secretly love them. Long live the Christmas cracker jokes!!
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus!
What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?
If we weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam!
How did the pig get to hospital?
In a hambulance!
I’ll have 6 thanks Deb.
Deb, so true. Mind you cars with red noses and antlers certainly don’t make me smile.
Back to the crackers… Sick and tired of the cheap and nasty surprises found inside our crackers my grandmother has started buying little bits and pieces she stuffs into them. This at least makes the terrible Santa jokes more bearable. I think we may borrow your idea of adding fun facts too!
Last but not least:
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker.
Oh Alana and Tilly, who needs Christmas crackers when you two are around! Happy Christmas!
Fortunately the high quality of the paper hat and plastic toy more than compensates for the crappy cracker joke.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
What time did the mechanic get to work each day?
5.30am – because he liked to get up oily.