“I can’t believe my eyes”.

Good plan. The days of believing your eyes have gone or are, at best, in serious trouble.

In the last couple of weeks alone:

Jeff Goldblum is dead – fell off a cliff in NZ. No he isn’t, no he didn’t. Oh.

An email was sent proving that the PM did untoward things for a car dealer. No it wasn’t. Gasp.

Photos were found in the floating wreckage of Air France flight 447 showing that the tail section had been torn off. No they weren’t. Cripes.

Whatever happened to the good old days when there was a thing called photographic evidence? Gone. In the almost good old days the doctored image was easy to spot. The shadow fell the wrong way. The neck on the transplanted head was bigger than the neck on the body. There was truck in the distance of the fake moonscape. Easy to pick like spot the difference in a child’s comic.

But now the work done with image manipulation software is faultless. That elephant really does have a duck’s head. Stunt plane’s really do land with one wing missing. Naughty taggers really do scale fences and scrawl graffiti on Airforce One.

“I don’t know what to believe any more”. Don’t fret, neither does anybody else. The Brazilian TV network believed the fake Air France crash photos.

The Channel 9 newsroom believed the Jeff Goldblum cliff fall story. Tens of thousands of people virally spread the amazing stunt plane film believing it to be real.

Where to from here? Like the boy who cried wolf one time too many I think we are likely to see a rampant spread of cynicism. The true stories will be doubted. The real photos not trusted. Genuine flying saucer photos …. well forget it.

Good bye Age of Aquarius, hello Age of Disbelief.

There’s a nasty rumour that I am algorithmist. This is simply not true. Algorithms make the world go round.

IF the sun is rising in the east THEN day is approaching. IF the clock says 3.00pm THEN my dogs want to be fed.

My son Sam and I used to write algorithms in BASIC for his school computing projects. We once even alphabetised a whole list of words at a single keystroke. Huge fun.

My beef is with algorithms that lurk on the dark side. Algorithms that work for the good of evil. The Tax Office’s computer has lots of algorithms waiting to pounce on the unwary whose data falls outside algorithmic criteria. IF deductible expenses increase by > 11.23361% THEN shoot off a please explain letter.

Pay an invoice leaving a zero balance and some faulty algorithm may send you an invoice a month later to pay $0.00. Fail to pay and the algorithm will trigger a mildly threatening letter to be followed some time later with a letter threatening court action. Algorithms have no mercy. Simply send a payment for $0.00 and the algorithm will slink off in search of another victim.

But there are a gazillion friendly algorithms that tell your watch if the month has 30 or 31 days. That figure out that the Brisbane (or Melbourne) you are looking for is in Australia, not the US. That advise Amazon to let you know that Dylan has a new album out soon because it knows you are a fan.

Goodness knows how many algorithms are in my car, adjusting the seat and mirrors to meet my likes; that know that IF the lumens entering the sensor fall below some predetermined level THEN turn the headlights on. And what the clever little fellas are doing inside my engine doesn’t bear thinking about.

And surely Google, Bing and Yahoo are up there as the world’s greatest algorithm wranglers. They know you better than your next door neighbour. They won’t waste your time giving you links to Dylan Thomas (that’s him pictured at the top) when it’s Bob Dylan you are after.

(That said, if you want to hear Richard Burton read of the “bible black, fishing boat, bobbing sea” in Under Milk Wood then go for it. But IF it’s, “traces of skipping reels of rhyme” for you THEN off to Amazon.com.)

But I am becoming obsessive now.

IF you start becoming algorithm obsessive THEN stop writing.

If the broadcast news has escaped you in the last few days, you are not alone. Just think of the thousands in Tehran who, in the wake of the recent elections, first of all lost their broadcast media, then lost electricity, then suffered a shutdown of internet and mobile phone services. Then there are those with satellite links who are forced to run for cover and go underground.

Meanwhile, the news in the western world wakes up to the events unfolding, but slowly, oh so slowly. Still, with journalists having to flee the country, or having their equipment confiscated, it’s asking a bit much that we get a balanced view of the news on television.

Anyway, we’re probably more concerned with celebrity chefs and TV hosts, or renegade comedy outfits making inappropriate satire, but there’s a revolution going on in real time… Robespierre and Danton would be stirring in their graves.

And so this is the Golden Age of social media, where Twitter, You Tube and Facebook can be a voice for those seeking democratic change in Iran – and suddenly we all know what’s REALLY going on.

If I didn’t give these platforms enough credence before now, this has certainly changed the way I think. It’s comforting to know that with evolution can follow the revolution!

Want to book a centre seat, 6 rows back at a concert hall? Sorry not yet, we’re selling off the rubbish seats on the side at the back first.

Want to pull your fighter jet into a 10g climb? Computer says no, that would exceed predetermined stress levels.

Want to Google the lyrics, “The rhythm of life is a powerful beat” to find the source? Can do but Google will decide what it thinks you REALLY want to know. Google runs on a shipping container (or ten) full of algorithms.

Algorithms are at work.

And as per the “Sweet Charity” song lyrics, “The algorithm of life is a powerful beat”.

Want to use your frequent flyer points to make a tourist flight around Australia 9 months from now? No way Jose the allocation of frequent flyer seats is determined by an algorithm that does not match your needs.

Algorithms are clever little pieces of calculation code, essentially IF/THEN equations and they are everywhere in our digital world. And they are held in seemingly impenetrable black boxes. Scream as loudly as you like at your keyboard you will still not be able to get a better seat than ZZ 65 at the concert. The algorithm is keeping the better seats to release later – “IF the crap seats are all sold THEN release some better ones”.

So if you are worried about the day AI (Artificial Intelligence) will outsmart you then worry no more, we are all living in a sort of trainer AI mode already with algorithms everywhere you look already outsmarting you.

We live in an age of fragmenting media, increased reliance on word of mouth recommendations, and technology like Foxtel IQ that makes it all too easy to skip an ad.

Doesn’t it sometimes make you wonder… are consumers simply outgrowing advertising?

Next Thursday, BCM partner Kevin Moreland will be chairing a Round Table discussing exactly that. He’ll be picking the minds of some of the best in the industry, including:

• Paul Fisher (CEO, Internet Advertising Bureau, Sydney)
• Drew Parkes (Digital Marketing Manager, Microsoft XBOX, Sydney)
• Paul Byrnes (General Manager, Emitch, Brisbane)
• Andrew Lockwood (Managing Director, Postclick, Sydney)

Presented by the Australian Interactive Media Industry Association (AIMIA), it promises to be a highly informative, entertaining and practical discussion, of value for all marketers. It comes highly recommended to all readers of Two Cents.

The Round Table will be followed by networking drinks (always entertaining at AIMIA events!)

For more details about what to expect on the day, click here.

Tickets are selling fast, so be sure to secure yours – we hope to see you on the day!

As marketers we hear all the time about media fragmentation; about the gazillions of channels competing for attention and eyeballs. And we want a piece of the action.

So we plan our assault. We meticulously think about that new interactive game; the new video that we hope and pray will go viral; we slave over the content and design of our new microsite; we work tirelessly on developing a social media hub and any number of other clever interactive ideas. We work long and hard to get it just right. Then we put it out there. And we wait… and we wait… and we hope it will get traction.

There’s loads and loads of great interactive stuff out there competing for the consumer’s attention. Why is it some are hugely popular, some get a modest but loyal following and some fail to meet their potential?

Why?

Part of the answer lies in a disciplined approach to traffic driving. Unfortunately it’s not enough to just budget for building and creating an online asset. Equally important is the need to set aside funds to develop and implement a traffic driving strategy. That may mean a combination of on and off line media; it may be through social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter; it may be through leveraging existing databases; it may be through a well executed media relations strategy; it may be through ongoing SEM and a focus on SEO – there’s no shortage of possibilities.

When clients say ‘yeah its unfortunate but we don’t have any money for traffic driving’ we should be alarmed. In my view it’s reason to reconsider whether it’s worth building and developing the asset in the first place.

Like I said with gazillions of choices, there’s no guarantee we’ll make any kind of impact if we don’t work and plan to get people to come see and experience what we’ve spent our money on.

What do you think?

Ever wandered into a party on your own and felt very nervous about meeting a bunch of strangers?

What about going to a business seminar on your own?

You want to sound confident, interesting and perhaps even witty.

You’d love to engage in spirited banter about the merits of some brand new technology or regale people with clever insights you have about a new business that has just launched. Even better if you had your own personal review of the latest restaurant, movie or wine to discuss. Or perhaps of all these things?

You secretly covet the idea that afterwards the people you met comment on how interesting you were or how smart you sounded. ‘What a great sense of humour’ would be a bonus too.

Being ’social’ comes with a bit of pressure doesn’t it?

Well I believe that the new social media has just wound up the pressure ten fold.

With Twitter you might have 150 people ‘listening’ to your tweets. Instead of chatting to 2 or 3 people at a party you could have a circle of 35 friends on Facebook hanging off your every word. If you’re a blogger then you could have an audience of thousands!

What to say? Is my opinion worthwhile? Have I got something clever to say? Am I very funny?

I haven’t tweeted for 12 hours, my Facebook friends must be thinking I’m on holidays, I’ve dropped out of the blogosphere for nearly a week!

Oh, the pressure!

This is the last part of a six part series of behind the scenes blog posts about the making of the latest QUT television commercials.

Mustangs suck.

Sure, they might look cool from the outside, but if you’re over 5 foot tall and jammed in the tiny back seat for 500 miles back and forth across LA, banging your scone on the rear window every time the car hits a divot, no amount of cool is gonna soothe your headache.

We didn’t miss much of LA today.

First up, the madness of Hollwood Boulevard, shooting the freaks and weirdos outside the Kodak Theatre (Oscars central). Those Angelenos sure know how to do tacky. The souvenir shops opposite the Chinese Theatre (handprints in cement of stars you’ve never heard of) flog plastic Oscar trophies in every possible designation. Hamster of the Year, Boss of the Year (sadly, I couldn’t fit three of them in my tiny bag), Second Cousin of the Year, Art Director of the Year, Surrogate Mom of the Year – there must’ve been 500 different kinds.

Next, on to Hollywood Hills, then Rodeo Drive, a chopper ride out of Santa Monica to grab a smoggy aerial shot of the city, a baseball game at Dodger Stadium (in future, I’ll dodge the Dodger Dogs), gawping in Beverly Hills and Venice Beach, and concluding with a grease fix at the charmingly named In-n-out Burger.

Locals suggested In-n-out was one of the better burger chains, but I’m still unsure if the establishment was named thus for the speed of its drive-thru service or the effect of its cheesy comestibles upon the digestive tracts of the clientele.

This is part five of a series of behind the scenes blog posts about the making of the latest QUT television commercials.

3am of the morning after we flew in, and nothing was going to make me sleep.

So I dragged on the trainers and ran down Sunset Boulevard, as Bentleys propelled partygoers home and less well-heeled victims of the night’s excesses lolled in every second doorway. Spotted a place the divine Anastacia had put us onto – the Griddle Café – which we returned to a few hours later, and then every other morning we were there.

An effortlessly cool place for brekky – so cool, in fact, that I bought the t-shirt, a singularly uncool thing to do. A highlight of the Griddle menu is the superb fat pancakes the size of a Chevy hubcap. Director Gerard ordered the short stack and managed to eat less than a quarter of ONE. He looked embarrassed, and people were staring, with good reason. It was a very ordinary effort. The rest of us managed to finish everything on our plates.

Sated, we began in earnest to suss out shooting locations.

Grabbed a rental Mustang to avoid being held to ransom by malodorous, mumbling LA cabbies. Finding a path through the Hollywood Hills to a place we could get a good shot of the famous sign took all morning. Many dead ends before we stumbled upon a clear vantage point free of gawking tourists. Our business graduate, Michael, was a star in every sense of the word. Doing all the (wrong side of the road) driving, smoking the Firestones when we needed to be quickly on the other side of a six lane road to grab a shot, eternally positive and helpful and full of good local knowledge.

We wanted to keep him.

Andy was like a kid in a lolly shop. He wouldn’t stop photographing: signs, textures, California girls, billboards, buildings, girls in short skirts, outrageous cars, freaks, ghettoes, pretty girls with LA haircuts… an art director’s dream.

This is part four of a series of behind the scenes blog posts about the making of the latest QUT television commercials.

There’s nothing like a big dose of jet-lag to blunt one’s fascination with a new city.

Los Angeles is irresistibly shiny, brash, loud, dirty, mean and sexy all at once. When we first laid eyes on her, all we wanted were chops and mashed potato and a nice lie down. Which is a bit sad when it’s Saturday night and the rest of the city is straightening its sun-kissed California tresses and lifting its hemlines for a night of fun and sin.

Four bedraggled Aussie blokes in jeans didn’t quite cut it (with the possible exception of our director, Gerard, who looks good in any kind of pants). But after accidentally stumbling into the lounge bar of the Mondrian on West Sunset Blvd, soothing our aches with a $13 Corona, and being attended to by an angel in white ankle-boots and nightie called Anastacia, things started looking up.

Anastacia clearly took pity on us, because she even had a word to the nine-foot black doorman at the Sky Bar next door who let us in ahead of a queue of much prettier people.

Sky Bar is so LA.

An outdoor bar overlooking the city with twinkling lights and topiarised magnolias and a pool and the world’s most beautiful bar staff with the world’s shiniest teeth and giant pouffes for cuddling on and oozing with wannabe starlets with legs up to there… aaaaahhh.